For Every Older Sibling

You took me from test pilot to astronaut
quicker than it took Armstrong to realize that he was the only man for the job,
you taught me how to walk on the moon and dance with Sting,
and I swear those 5 million YoutTube hits on that song were down to us,
and if not
than those 57 thousand on Hard To Be A Saint In The City is definitely us,
because you told me that
I could walk like Brando out into the sun
and dance like a Casanova,
you are every member of the E-Street Band rolled into one,
every member of the Stones,
you are my Morrison, Manzarek, Densmore and Krieger,
and I’d like to think that that message about acquiring S Club 7 tickets was a joke,
but I don’t think it was,
anyway we’re too poor to spend 40 quid on a 2 hour S Club Party,
no matter how much we want to Bring It All Back;
you’ve set the bar so high
and I’ve always been better at jumping over hurdles than doing the limbo,
but I haven’t got the spring in my step for this leap up to your level just yet,
so I think I’m going to stay where I am,
because I have no idea what to do or where next to go,
I’m looking up with Batman’s grapple gun in my hand
ready to fly up to your Gotham City heights
and I’ll ask Commissioner Gordon to turn on the Bat-Signal so it lights
up the sky in hope you’ll come and save me again,
like when you taught me not to get lost down cul-de-sac relationships
especially when the other person exclusively walks along New York Streets,
takes subway trains and stops off at every boy she meets,
you were right about her,
but older siblings usually are,
like I’m over here thinking
I’m just another set of mistakes,
a piece of medium rare, under cooked error
trying to find his way back onto a Michelin star plate,
a tangled mess more than mum can repair,
a broken line of command,
another slow process;
control-alt-delete won’t reboot you
because life’s in the defibrillator
not in the task manager,
and if you ever heard me say that you’d say back
Tim, climb out your arse, we’re gonna die anyway so make the most of it, we’re all par for the course,
and I’d retort
well that’s a cliché, that’s what we’re trying to avoid
but you’d say back
I know, but it’s true.

I have no idea what to do
or where next to go,
so show me.